The problem of bullying in American schools has become so rampant that in 2014, the Centers for Disease Control and Department of Education released the first federal definition of bullying. The definition includes three core elements:
- unwanted aggressive behavior
- observed or perceived power imbalance
- repetition or high likelihood of repetition of bullying behaviors
This definition helps determine whether an incident is bullying or another type of aggressive behavior or both.
Understanding how and why a child becomes a bully can help victims, parents, and perpetrators all better understand what is going on—and provide insight into how to stop it. There could be a variety of underlying causes, such as family problems, emotional trauma, learned behavior, or the desire to impress their peers.
When children and adolescents are under stress, they may make poor decisions. They may have been bullied, become withdrawn, and then take out repressed anger on others in response to their ordeal. Some people may have problems at home that cause them to feel sad, isolated, and lonely. They may struggle to express themselves and how they think, so they may resort to bullying others.
The Leading Causes of Bullying
Bullying may seem simple on the surface. Kids want to get attention, to feel strong, and to make friends with others who share a dislike for another person. But, there are complex underlying causes for most bullying:
- To Feel Powerful
It is common for children and adolescents to have been bullied and then exhibit bullying behavior. Nobody wants to feel ‘weak.’ So, to reduce the emotional impact of the first encounter, we seek to feel “in control,” One negative way of doing so is to copy what happened to us. This allows us to normalize the actual situation while making us feel less victimized.
This frequently occurs because the initial situation was not thoroughly discussed and thought through. If the person who was bullied ‘believes’ the bullies were strong and superior, they may end up admiring the behavior, even if it is wrong.
- Lack of attention at home
Children are very perceptive to what is going on in the home. For example, a child may feel neglected if parents are divorcing or constantly arguing. Family problems can be difficult for a child to deal with. They may seek attention through a variety of means.
- Payback
Some bullied teenagers look for ways to retaliate or seek revenge.
These children are frequently referred to as “bully victims,” They often believe their actions are justified because they have been harassed and tormented.
When they bully others, they may feel relieved and vindicated for what they have gone through. These kids will sometimes target someone weaker or more vulnerable than them. At times, they will go after the person who has bullied them.
- Excitement
Kids who are bored and looking for entertainment will sometimes resort to bullying to spice up their lives. They may also choose to bully because they lack parental attention and supervision. As a result, bullying becomes a way for people to get attention.
Meanwhile, children who lack empathy frequently enjoy hurting the feelings of others. They not only enjoy the sense of power that comes from bullying others, but they may also find hurtful “jokes” amusing.
- Unaware of or unwilling to accept their peers’ differences
Physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, and sexual orientation were the most frequently cited reasons for bullying by students. Some youth bully because they do not understand the differences in their backgrounds, cultures, and other identity markers.
How Can You Prevent Bullying?
As a parent, you may be unable to control the community or peer group in which your child participates. However, there are essential things you can do to reduce your child’s involvement in bullying, whether your child is bullying others, being bullied themselves, or not intervening when they see someone else bullying.
People who have been bullied report that supportive actions are the most helpful things a peer can do. These include talking, spending time together, and assisting them in getting out of a bad situation.
Furthermore, it is critical to engage in bullying prevention efforts to prevent these destructive behaviors from occurring at school. It can be challenging to keep up with everything that happens in the classroom as a parent or caregiver.
Here are some tips to help prevent your child from bullying their peers:
- Provide positive reinforcement at home
It is critical to be aware of the type of attention your child receives at home, both by parents and siblings. Please ensure that your child receives positive, encouraging engagement that acknowledges their strengths and fosters healthy self-confidence.
- Teach your child about peer differences
Exposing your child to different ways of life can help them better understand our diverse world and make them less likely to react negatively toward those who are different from them.
- Showcase kindness and inclusion
Young children are only beginning to learn how to form healthy relationships with others. Parents must set an example of treating others with dignity and respect and modeling empathy for others.
- Participate in anti-bullying campaigns
Introduce bullying prevention concepts to your children at a young age. We can help end bullying in schools by exposing your child to this early on. Stand for the Silent and Stomp Out Bullying are two organizations that aim to teach children about bullying and its adverse effects on all involved.
If your child is being bullied, seek help for them. Contact their school (if it is taking place at school) and, if necessary, a counselor. Listen to them and let them know you’re available to them. Make it clear that it is not their fault. You can help them develop resilience and make a strategy to keep them safe.
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